NEW YORK, Apri129
      My Dear Mr. President: A matter come up which I think is of the gravest importance, and I think you should know of it, as it is things of importance that I know you want me to find out for you. Well, I said I would like to get a Passport to go to Europe: "Here is the application and here is an affadavid that someone that we know will bave to swear that they know of your birth and you will have to produce your Birth Certificate."
      Well, I told her Lady I have no birth certificate; and as for someone here in New York that was present at my birth and can swear to it, I am afraid that will be rather difficult. "Haven't you somebody here that was there?" she asked. You know the oldtime Lady's of which I am a direct descendant. They were of a rather modest and retiring nature, and being born was rather a private affair, and not a public function.
      I have no one here in New York that witnessed that historical event, and I doubt very much if even in Oklahoma I could produce any great amount of witnesses. My Parents are dead, Our old Family Doctor, bless his old heart, is no more. So what would you advise that I do? Will it be necessary for me to be born again, and just what proceedure would you advise for me doing so? I remember Billy Sunday once remarking to us just before a collection that "we must be born again," I didn't take it so literally until now. Billy had evidently been to Europe. You see, in the early days of the Indian Territory where I was born there was no such things as birth certificates. You being there was ccrtificate enough. We generally rook it for granted if you were there you must have at some time been born. In fact that is about the only thing we didn't dispute. While you were going through the trouble of getting a birth certificate you could be raising another child in that time.
      Having a certificate of being born was like wearmg a raincoat in the water over a bathing suit. I have no doubt if my folks had had the least premonition at my birth that I would some day wander beyond any further than a cow can stray, they would havc made provisions for a proof of birth. The only place we ever had to get a Passport for in those days was to go into Kansas. And I looked to have the average amount of intelligence of a child of my age and they knew that I would never want to go to Kansas.
      Well, then the Girl finally compromised by saying, "Who here in New York knew your Parents? We know you, Mr. Rogers, but it's a form that we have to go through with before you can get the Passport. We have to have proof that you are an American Citizen."
      That was the first time I had ever been called on to prove that. Here my Father and Mother were both one-eighth Cherokee Indians and I have been on the Cherokee rolls since I was named, and my family had lived on one ranch for 75 years. But just offhand, how was I going to show that I was born in America? The English that I spoke had none of the earmarks of the Mayflower.
      She asked "Are you in Who's Who?"
      I said, "My Lord, I am not even in the New York Telephone Directory and that is perhaps without a doubt the most ordinary collection of humans ever assembled in America." I asked her, "Would you suggest waiting for a Passport until I have done something to get into Who's Who? If you do, I can see my trip to Europe fading. I will be dead of old age before making that Press sheet." But I was advised to go ahead and make out my application and that I would have to have a Picture of myself. She directed me to a place around there where I could gct one taken quick. Well, that was the way I wanted one taken--quick.
      The fellow as I walked in said, "Want to get mugged?" I replied, "Yes sir."
      "Sit down, hats off, heads up. You moved. I will have to shoot another one. Keep still."
      My goodness what speed! I thought I would gct time to fix my tie or comb my hair, but not in that place. They shot you looking As Is. "How many do you want?" I asked him if I could see them first, as if by accident they were good I might take a dozen and have a Crayon enlargement made in addition.
      I took the Pictures back and they pasted two of them on the passport and said, $10.00 please." YO see, with the application it cost you $10.00 to get out. In other words, they bet you $10.00 that you can leave the Country and you like a fool bet them that you can't. It's like betting a Life Insurance Co. that you will die, when they have every available information from Doctors and everybody that you will live. If it looks like you will die, they won't bet you.
      Wel1, the Girl then said, "Now how about this sworn statement of someone who knows your Parents?"
      Here is what I was up against; I not only couldn't prove that I was an American but I couldn't think of any other American in New York to vouch for me. It was as hard to find an American in New York as it was to get a Passport. I told the Lady, "If you think I wasn't born here and will name me the country that you think I was born in, I will be glad to go there. It makes no particular difference to me where I go, so if you will just tell me where I might have originated from, why, that will be my destination."
      You see, I was doing all in my power to be agreeable. So I finally went to a friend of mine--Sam Kingston--assumed name--General Manager for Mr. Florenz Zeigfeld, and I told him my troubles and he said, "Why sure I knew your Father well and I know that you are an American. Not 100 per cent ones like the Rotarrays and Kiawanises and Lions, but enough to pay taxes." Now Sam had never been west of the Hudson River in his life and my Father had never been east of the Mississippi so it was really one of the longest distance acquaintanceships on record. I thought it was funny Sam had never mentioned knowing Father before to me. All he had ever spoken to me about was reduction of Salaries. Anyway I hope nothing comes of it in tbe way of hanging or shooting Sam.
      So I took Sam's statement back and they won my $1O.00. But one nice thing about the whole thing was the good nature and courtesy that the people in that Department showed--Mr. Hoyt, who was in charge, and Miss Baer and all of them. If it hadn't been for them I would have felt like going out without one and trusting to luck to never get back again. So if you Foreigners think it is hard to get in here, you ain't seen nothing. You ought to be an American and try to get out once.
      So as you sail down on the Mayflower tomorrow to keep away from the Congressmen, I will be on the Leviathan with my oldest son of 14--who is also a naturalized American Citizen. So as one Ocean traveler says to another, Bon Voyage Calvin.
      Yours cheerfully and well till we reach Sandy Hook.

            Your devoted Envoy without papers or sense

                 COL. William Rogers.